"I am currently a member of ICOC and although I don't agree with everything you said I know that some of it is actually true. I just wish you would try to get up to date facts instead of speculation. It would seem like you are judging the same way you accuse them of doing. Yet, I never believed that we were the only church!. I have encountered many leaders and members that think we are and some that don't. I definitely would love to go elsewhere, but I think of the peer pressure and what would be said if I left. I used to love my church, but it has gone through many changes and I don't feel connected I can't really imagine what my life would be like and yes there is plenty of fear and guilt as I decide what to do. Believe it or not I can be a free thinker and sometimes it is accepted and at other times I fell slammed or alienated for question what I don't agree with or what I would like to learn more about, instead of just accepting blindly. What would you suggest? I have been a "disciple" for almost XXyrs and this is my life."
Thanks for sharing. I will attempt to address your questions here.
IN REGARDS to obtaining up-to-date facts (assuming you're referring to the recent changes): You are right that I should do so, however, I currently don't have a secure, "safe", and accurate way in which to do so. I have NO desire to attend a service or series of services AND, with the fact that they are teaching a false gospel (works salvation), I don't know if the information I would receive would be entirely accurate and true. However, just yesterday, I received word from another former member that during a conversation he had had with a member and when asked if they believed they were the "one true church", the answer was "no". Then, when asked if that member had ever met anyone outside of the ICOC that they believed was a Christian, the answer was "no"! So, in other words, he contradicted himself AND it proves that in that aspect, the ICOC has not changed! (I think I just answered a few of your questions in one!)
IN REGARDS to your fear of leaving and the peer pressure: For starters, what church* who, instead of having the purpose of bringing glory to God and Him alone and NOT for the selfish purpose of world evangelism (domination?) places SUCH emphasis on membership that her members demonstrate peer pressure on her members to feel fear and guilt when even remotely considering leaving to worship elsewhere??? The purpose of the church of the Bible is to bring people together for the act of worship, encourage and educate through the power of the gospel of Jesus Christ, with the constant/consistent goal of bringing glory to God and Him alone.
IN REGARDS to my personal expressions of "judgment": You are absolutely right! I do still struggle with being judgmental in this area of my life. It is something that God is working on in my life. If you think I was "bad" in this video presentation, you should have seen the VERY first (not on YouTube!) presentation I conducted after I had just left the ICOC. While no one said anything to me about it, when I viewed it on DVD a year later, I was appalled at the rage, anger, frustration and hurt I exhibited that day! New2OpMusic, I can only ask for you to pray for my continued working out through sanctification my judgmentalism.
Now, understand: I do believe that the ICOC taught (past tense) some false doctrine and theology in their views of what Christianity/being saved is. While, yes, the Bible says that we should "work out your own salvation with fear and trembling (Philippians 2:12, ESV), it is NOT intended to be interpreted to infer the type of abusive discipleship which the ICOC has (at least) historically demonstrated in the past.
IN REGARDS to "what [I] would suggest": I am not entirely sure what exactly you are requesting suggestions for: what you should do in your current situation (membership within the ICOC) or leaving the ICOC.
IF YOU DECIDE TO REMAIN, you will continue to be alone, isolated and (really) not completely in unified fellowship with your fellow members because of your own "free thinking" of your personal convictions. I DO NOT believe that this God's desire for His church! Secondly, if (and this will depend on your own study and convictions/conclusions) you believe that the ICOC is teaching false doctrine/theology, then you need to leave, despite the false belief that God is SO small that He will not be in any other church. TRUST ME: I had the same immediate concerns myself when I first made the conscious decision to leave the ICOC! But I did and have NOT regretted it! I am currently in a church that loves me, challenges me, and has helped me grow in so many ways and I STILL HAVE MORE AREAS IN MY LIFE IN WHICH I NEED ADDITIONAL GROWTH! I have NOT "arrived"!
I hope that this has answered some if not all of your questions. I can only pray that you will make the right decisions for your relationship with God because it will be He to whom you will stand before and give an accounting, not the ICOC!
*Note: I only use the word "church" here due to their belief that they are one. I do NOT believe that this is the church which Christ and Paul describes in the Bible!
