According to dictionary.com, friendship is "the state of being or association as a friend." A friend is "a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard; who gives assistance; supporter; who is on good terms with another; who is not hostile."
This past Sunday, someone asked me if I was "friends" with one of the pastors with whom we had just visited. At first, it took me aback, because, well, I didn't consider us friends because, well, I haven't had too many friends. Let me explain.
During my formative years, from third grade to my senior year, I had only one friend! A majority of the class had grown up together attending one of several denominational non-instrumental Churches of Christ and had built a tight-knit community, excluding anyone from the outside of their denominational clique. Hence, my Baptist friend and I (from the non-denominational New Testament Christian church) became friends out of survival.
My school friend and I spent a LOT of time together -- at recess, lunch and doing homework together. We had good times together and sometimes, bad times. He was there for me when my mother had emergency appendectomy surgery, I was there for him when he had emergency brain surgery, his mother was diagnosed with emphysema and later, I comforted him when she died.
Today, I have built community with a few acquaintances who eventually became friends. I have come to believe that engaging closely with others helps to foster and build friendship.
According to the definition, friendship seems to be based on mere "feelings of affection or personal regard". I had somehow always built it up to something more, where more effort was made. Subsequently, under this definition, I could be considered a friend of the pastor I mentioned above, although he and I have rarely if ever spent any time together or have had conversations lasting longer than five minutes!
So, if friendships are attachments to others by "feelings of affection or personal regard", then I have many, MANY friends! So, I guess I have many friends and many CLOSER friendships, those with whom I have built close-knit relationships and walk with me in my walk with Christ.
